Dear Steven (my NSA angel),

I understand that phone calls are kind of your thing. How does it feel, then, that someone in charge (however half-heartedly) is finally saying, “Hey, maybe we shouldn’t collect all this phone data“?

I’d be a little mad, I guess.1 I just hope that we can all be adults about it and debate the merits2 and shortcomings3 of mass surveillance. Unlike some people, who wear three-corner hats and freak out when they get tread on by Barack Hussein Obamacare and don’t understand the phrase “what goes around comes around.”

And hey, bonus –

Phone companies, for their part, would have to provide “technical assistance” in order to make sure that the government could easily search for and collect information…

You have a built-in scapegoat for when things go tits up4!

Sorry for your (non-)loss,

  1. I’m sure your behavior algorithms already knew that. You have those, right? Google does, so I’m sure you do by proxy. 
  2. None. 
  3. All. 
  4. I would like to see this British-ish phrase come up more in daily conversation. 

Sound off