Category: Meta
There are 33 posts filed in Meta (this is page 2 of 4).
Year-in-Review 2016, or The Last Thing Anyone Wants To Read Right Now
Having a toddler means I don’t get out as much as I used to, so my Official Dad Best-Of–2016 awards go to Deadpool, the new Ghostbusters, and the newest season of The Venture Brothers. Rogue One was also pretty good.
The Rest Of The World
Professionally, and for the world in general, it has been a goddamn nightmare.
Here’s my list of (mostly terrible) things that happened, month by month, with some good tweets for flavor. I’ll try to avoid the elephant in the room.2
- January
- these jamokes
- RIP Bowie
- Michael Bay made a goddamn Benghazi movie
-
This is like watching the crew of the Nostromo debate the alien that's going to eat them. #GOPDebate pic.twitter.com/lDLLZ1guJN
— Gerry Duggan (@GerryDuggan) January 15, 2016
- February
- Disney panhandles to its own employees for PAC money
- FBI messes up investigation, tries to force Apple to bail them out. See: my encryption take
-
"okay ted, do some standing"
"got it. normal human standing" pic.twitter.com/wwORslEUdb— matt 💀 lubchansky (@Lubchansky) February 3, 2016
- March
- The NSA panopticon begins formally spilling over into other law enforcement (I see you NSA angel)
- Lawmaker hubris tested by legalizing raw milk, receiving foodborne illness from said milk
- SinbadPix
-
Can't argue with facts pic.twitter.com/xrBXnQcGyl
— Jacy Catlin (@ieatanddrink) March 14, 2016
- April
- RIP Prince
- Found out cops took more than robbers did last year
- The average webpage is now the size of DOOM. We passed SimCity 2000 a while ago
-
This barred list from the Half Moon pub in Herne Hill is incredible, it's like a Guy Ritchie casting call pic.twitter.com/249PZqclwv
— Santero (@djsantero) April 12, 2016
- May
- Parody pundit does better than Nate Silver at primary predictions
- Another parody account is hacked by ISIS
- June
- RIP Ali
-
Wise words, child. pic.twitter.com/BcKMXlcGpr
— Dick King-Smith HQ (@DickKingSmith) June 3, 2016
- July
- Pokemon Go begins corrupting our youth
- There is no good way to say all lives matter
-
A really sharp cartoon about true inclusion. pic.twitter.com/zYTllR0Erh
— Steve Silberman (@stevesilberman) July 28, 2016
- August
- September
-
this is the best screensaver cos whenever i get a notification, Kanye holds it up for me pic.twitter.com/W3bpDt82MA
— mb (@michaellbutlerr) September 29, 2016
-
- October
-
am i horseback riding or am i tripping balls pic.twitter.com/I0CYTwer32
— Lisa Hanawalt (@lisadraws) October 15, 2016
-
- November
- RIP Leonard Cohen
- RIP Democracy, probably
-
did you guys see this??? pic.twitter.com/FGd4nYgHPT
— Avery Monsen (@averymonsen) November 16, 2016
- December
- What it looks like when hate gets rebranded
- RIP George Michael
- RIP Carrie Fisher & Debbie Reynolds
-
Can't help but feel we're playing with fire here. pic.twitter.com/dqbYSmwLkx
— Niall Gooch (@niall_gooch) December 19, 2016
And I’m pretty sure nothing else happened. May we all take these lessons into the next year, lest history repeats.
First draft of concession speech, Nov 9 2016
Congratulations to white people. You have proven your point, and we must all live with the consequences. I believe it was Maya Angelou that said “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
Condolences to Secretary Clinton on a hard fought campaign. I have never respected the cost of wanting to use a single phone for personal and work emails until now.
Shout out to the electoral college for exposing our expertly rigged system, identified by the GOP president-elect. I bet this is one of the first things he addresses when taking office.
Shout out to Antonin Scalia for gutting the Voting Rights Act and then dying, steering the boat towards and then tripling the size of the iceberg. I’m sure the Honorable Peter Thiel will keep your legacy alive for the next 275 years before dying of vampire-related causes.
(Related: Shout out to the 46.9% of the electorate that could not find a way to show up to the polls.)
Congratulations to our future presidential cabinet. Chris “Bridges” Christie. Newt “Moon Base” Gingrich. Rudy “I forgot 9/11 even though it’s kind of my thing” Guiliani. I am sure you all will have our best interests in mind.
Apologies to folks who are not straight white men, whom this will affect disproportionately, as it always has. I will try to be here for you, but if it is too much, I hear Vancouver is lovely.
Shout out to the Chicago Cubs, for siphoning off the extremely limited supply of karma for the year 2016, and taking an advance on the next 4 years.
As always, all glory to Mother Russia.
Let the self-fulfilling prophecy be fulfilled. America has signaled to itself and the entire world that we are not exceptional, and are no longer great. Time to get to work.
Year In Review 2015 and Week In Review 2016
From what I heard of the outside world, 2015 was mostly a shitshow. But Dad Land has been good to me. So in the spirit of Chris Lacy’s …Of The Year posts, I present 2015 Of The Year.
Ten years, three degrees, three part time jobs, one internship, one full time job, and a rental property later, it is time for us to move on.
The Bat-Man
We have an old house, and last night, for the second time this year, a bat has made its way in while the house is locked up at night. Play-by-play:
Jessie (hereafter referred to as “My Wife“, in a Borat voice) goes to the kitchen for a glass of water around 2:30am, and sees a bat (hereafter referred to as Benoit) hanging on a window shade. I prepare for bat battle, and Benoit flies up and down our staircase for a bit. Benoit returns to the bathroom where we believe he entered, where he is promptly shut in, and My Wife and I return to our bedroom to regroup. Animal control is called, but “they don’t deal with that kind of thing2.” They end up getting a police man dispatched to our house (Officer Tinslow, who was really cool about it all). Benoit is now nowhere to be found (obvs), and we assume it has gone back into the wall or wherever. Flash forward to morning diaper change for Jack, when Benoit is found hanging on the drapes right next to the changing table in the nursery. He is not-very-quickly dispatched out that window, and is terrible at gaining altitude when flying in circles.
Some stray observations:
- Bats are ten million percent easier to deal with in daylight. They do pretty much the same things, but you can see it. They seem smaller.
- As I said, this is the second time this happened. The first time, My Wife was pregnant, and this time is right before trying to sell/rent out our house.
- I kept thinking about the Louis CK bit from his last special about calling animal control, where they say they have a guy for that but they go to extraordinary lengths not to call him “the bat man.”
#goddamnitbrian
- If you are interested, it has new windows and one less bat. ↩
- This is the second time I have heard this from them. The last time was in college, and I was in a dilapidated rental house that had a racoon the size of a labrador retriever living in the ceiling. They had a guy for that too, and when he caught him in a trap and we asked what he was going to do with it, he said he “was not at liberty to discuss it.” Conspiracy theories included moving the racoon to another of our terrible landlord’s properties, or the bad Chinese restaurant down the street (which was shut down later that year). ↩
you guys missed some good deals on shoes today
Weather is dumb. Not a fan.