Voice changer/ray gunWitnessed this conversation with a police officer. I was sitting in the back seat of a Pontiac Sunfire with at least 4 other dudes. Also, I had my wisdom teeth removed the day before, so I was pretty high on pain killers.

Officer: What are you guys doing out here?

Driver: We got lost.

Officer: (points flashlight at floor of backseat) Is that some sort of ray gun?

Friend in backseat: No, it’s a (hits button on voice changer) *voice changer.*

Officer: Oh. You guys get home, there’s a storm coming.

Driver: Will do, officer.

Me: (as driver rolls up window) Protect and serve, officer!

Problems with smartphones, as with so many things in life, are seemingly always user error. Nobody has an innate ability to operate such advanced technology unless they were drawn in a comic book or something. It is why you still see those people labelled holdouts because of their refusal to upgrade from their clamshell Nokia, and why “dumbphone” is a word now.

They don’t see the potential in their smartphone the way I do. All the things it can do and will soon be able to do. Connections to be made, data to be remembered or shared. It is how I communicate with the world outside my immediate vicinity, and occasionally within it. Smartphones have broken the fourth wall of reality, and the world can never go back to the way things were.

Unless you have an iPhone. That UI is old as hell.