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Pilch

q: are you ready for some football
a: no, come on, it's 9:30. i haven't finished my coffee yet

Pilch

Does watching the NFL make you evil?

1 min read

If America has a secular religion, it is probably the National Football League, if only for the happening-on-Sunday thing and the ritual consumption of alcohol and breads....

Does watching the NFL make you evil?
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Pilch

Year In Review 2013

4 min read

It's the end of the year, a time for reflecting and summation. It is a totally arbitrary time, probably adopted from some pagans, just like most of the holidays on the Gregorian calendar. But the year had to end sometime, and that time is now1. Time for the quality of weather to plummet, and for the amount of listicles published to soar. I now have a blog, and so by the transitive property I must now make listicles, like so2:

BEST PICTURES I TOOK THIS YEAR, AS JUDGED BY ME

Two of them are screencaps. I don't take a lot of pictures.

[gallery type="rectangular" ids="1516,1510,1505,1501,1497,1496,1500,1499,1492,1491,1484,1477,1476,1466,1468"]
AWESOME SONGS THAT MAY NOT HAVE COME OUT THIS YEAR BUT I LISTENED TO A LOT ANYWAY

COOL ARTICLES I READ, PROBABLY THIS YEAR

On Smarm (Gawker)

What is smarm, exactly? Smarm is a kind of performance—an assumption of the forms of seriousness, of virtue, of constructiveness, without the substance. Smarm is concerned with appropriateness and with tone. Smarm disapproves.

Smarm would rather talk about anything other than smarm. Why, smarm asks, can't everyone just be nicer?

The Period is Pissed (The New Republic)

The period was always the humblest of punctuation marks. Recently, however, it’s started getting angry. I’ve noticed it in my text messages and online chats, where people use the period not simply to conclude a sentence, but to announce “I am not happy about the sentence I just concluded.”

How to Win Any Bourbon Argument (Esquire)

You've gone and done it. You've expressed a preference for a bourbon within earshot of another person. Little did you realize that arguing about bourbon is now our sixth most popular sport, behind arguing about "grape vs. grain" vodkas, parenting strategies, craft beers, workout regimens, and college football.

Get Ready to Lose Your Job (TechCrunch)

Kurzweil claims that whenever technology hits a limit, “a paradigm shift (i.e., a fundamental change in the approach) occurs, which enables exponential growth to continue.” That’s not much more than a convenient article of faith. As Peter Thiel points out, “technological progress has fallen short in many domains. Consider the most literal instance of non-acceleration: We are no longer moving faster. The centuries-long acceleration of travel speeds … reversed with the decommissioning of the Concorde in 2003.”

The Pixar Theory (John Negroni)

This post expounds the theory that all Pixar movies (from Toy Story to Monsters University) exist in the same timeline and are all connected, which is simultaneously crazy and awesome (crawesome).

Megan Mullaly and Nick Offerman answer your questions on how to "engage in romantic love" (A.V. Club)

(There is a phrase repeated through several answers that I will not include here. Rated PG-13)

2013 LIST OF BEST BEST-OF LISTS ... 2013

BEST CONDIMENTS TO PUT ON SANDWICHES OR WHAT HAVE YOU

  1. BARBECUE SAUCE
  2. NOTHING

BEST AMOUNT OF ITEMS TO PUT IN A LIST

  1. 3
  2. 5
  3. 2
  4. 0
  5. 34

PLACES I VISITED THIS YEAR THAT ARE ALSO BEST I GUESS

  • Cancun
  • San Francisco
  • Destin
  • Long Island (the good parts)

All in all, a good year. See you for the next one.


  1. Because nothing happens between December 22 and January.
  2. Try to watch this and not say "Scooby Doo Monster Game" in your best Sean Connery voice. You can't.

Pilch

How to Win Any Bourbon Argument

1 min read

How to Win Any Bourbon Argument

Pilch

Elocution

1 min read

Dear high school principal,
It’s pronounced “teck-nick-ul”, not “tet-nickel”.
Love,
An esteemed alumnus at North Football Stadium – View on Path.