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Bowling ball

1 min read

- How big is an 8 year old's head? A bowling ball?
-Too small. It's like a basketball. But one of those small basketballs, you win at the fair.
-You're describing a bowling ball!

  • Liz Lemon and Crisstopher Cross


Neck pillow

1 min read

-Do you have a neck pillow? I blew mine up, and now it smells like my mouth.

-I don't sleep on planes. I don't want to get incepted.

Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy



1 min read

-When are you due?

-April 20. Hitler's birthday.

-What is the name of your gynecologist?

-Dr. Rufus T. Barleysheath.

-Where was the baby conceived?

-In my vagina.

-What names are you considering?

-Rufus T. Barleysheath.

-How are you feeling?

-*Oh a little achy and nauseous, but I'm hangin' in there!*

-Are you pregnant?

-No... way that I'm not.

-Liz Lemon and Carmen Chau



1 min read

It’s like Jay-Z said, “Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there’s nothing you can do.”

Liz Lemon