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Pilch

The Verge: One of my favorite podcast hosts died, and it feels like I lost a friend

1 min read

I have been trying to figure out why I felt bad about this, and I'm glad someone else could articulate it for me. I remember laughing so hard my eyes teared up at one of his CBB bits (which probably wasn't even funny, which is also why I was laughing). Even the picture in the article ("great dog name: Bark Obama") made me chuckle. I was looking forward to his work after Parks and Recreation. Tragic.

http://www.theverge.com/2015/2/20/8076275/one-of-my-favorite-podcast-hosts-died-and-it-feels-like-i-lost-a

 

Pilch

WIRED Binge-Watching Guide: The Venture Bros.

1 min read

http://www.wired.com/2015/01/binge-guide-venture-bros/In the words of ZODIAC_MF, this show is NOT OPTIONAL. Although the guide does miss a couple of my favorite season 2 episodes, "Love Bheits" and "Showdown at Cremation Creek." Really looking forward to the space special.

http://youtu.be/5WL4XfBTCe0

Pilch

Bowling ball

1 min read

- How big is an 8 year old's head? A bowling ball?
-Too small. It's like a basketball. But one of those small basketballs, you win at the fair.
-You're describing a bowling ball!

  • Liz Lemon and Crisstopher Cross

Pilch

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Definitive Oral History of a TV Masterpiece

1 min read

Released in 1966, Manos: The Hands of Fate is a D-minus of a B movie: Its plot, about desert-­dwelling pagans, makes little sense. Its cast could be out-acted by the stars of a day care holiday pageant. And the film is paced with the urgency and focus of a box turtle on lithium....

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Definitive Oral History of a TV Masterpiece
from Pocket via IFTTT

Pilch

Neck pillow

1 min read

-Do you have a neck pillow? I blew mine up, and now it smells like my mouth.

-I don't sleep on planes. I don't want to get incepted.

Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy

Pilch

Pilch

Barleysheath

1 min read

-When are you due?

-April 20. Hitler's birthday.

-What is the name of your gynecologist?

-Dr. Rufus T. Barleysheath.

-Where was the baby conceived?

-In my vagina.

-What names are you considering?

-Rufus T. Barleysheath.

-How are you feeling?

-*Oh a little achy and nauseous, but I'm hangin' in there!*

-Are you pregnant?

-No... way that I'm not.

-Liz Lemon and Carmen Chau

Pilch

Pilch

Cable questions

2 min read

Dear Jim (my NSA angel),

My cable company is attempting to buy their closest competitor. I know you and Comcast are bros on the DL, but your love is quite transparent to the public. Anyways, was this your idea? Vertical integration of data harvesting, now covering 37 of the top 40 markets in America. Solid strategy. I try to avoid conspiracy theories, but a surveillance state combined with this sounds like some Illuminati1 shit.

Speaking of TV, how have you liked the new season of House of Cards so far2? Some solid digital espionage going on in the first few episodes, but through the FBI/Secret Service? Come on, we both know who the real 1337 h4XX0rs are.

So, listen, if any packages come to the house, could you put them inside the screen door for me? I don't get home until the evening, and I would prefer they weren't covered in snow. Also, weather machine? Is that a thing yet? Please get someone on that ASAP.

Thanks,
Craig


  1. Who is head of the Illuminati these days? Is it Beyonce? It is, isn't it? Your secret is safe with me. Ooh, is it Tupac? 

  2. You haven't answered yet, so I assume you can see my TV ok. 

Pilch

Pilch

Horse grenades

1 min read

-Close only counts in horse grenades.
-What?
-Well, when you are playing horseshoes, and you throw your grenade at the horse, you don't have to get that close to the horse to blow its legs off.
- ...
-It is a saying from that movie, Seabiscuit.

Pilch

Day of the Doctor Trailer

1 min read

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpRkwN7QM2wdoctorwho:

IT’S FINALLY HERE.The official clip trailer for the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary special, ‘The Day of the Doctor’.

(Psst. If you’re on the YouTubes, you can subscribe to BBCAmerica because they’ll be posting a second, special exclusive trailer tomorrow!)

Pilch

Day of the Doctor teaser trailer

1 min read

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0AX8rgJ8f0doctorwho:

Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Tribute: “The Day of The Doctor” November 23, 2013

Celebrate 50 Years of Doctor Who with this specially-shot tribute in advance of the special 50th Anniversary episode, “The Day of The Doctor” premiering SAT NOVEMBER 23 on BBC AMERICA, BBC One, Space Channel and in 75 countries around the globe.

Pilch

Pilch

Rochambeau

1 min read

JT: Ok, on three, give him the old Rochambeau!
A: Rock paper scissors?
O: What does a general from the American Revolution have to do with this?
JT: American? Rochambeau sounds... French.
O: Yes, the Franco-American forces.
JT: They fought with Spaghetti-o's and meatballs?
A: Why would a company called "Franco-American" make Italian food?