To be stupid, and selfish, and to have good health are the three requirements for happiness — though if stupidity is lacking, the others are useless.

Julian Barnes 💬

Whatever you now find weird, ugly, uncomfortable and nasty about a new medium will surely become its signature. CD distortion, the jitteriness of digital video, the crap sound of 8-bit – all of these will be cherished and emulated as soon as they can be avoided. It’s the sound of failure: so much modern art is the sound of things going out of control, of a medium pushing to its limits and breaking apart. The distorted guitar sound is the sound of something too loud for the medium supposed to carry it. The blues singer with the cracked voice is the sound of an emotional cry too powerful for the throat that releases it. The excitement of grainy film, of bleached-out black and white, is the excitement of witnessing events too momentous for the medium assigned to record them.

We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams.

Gene Wilder RIP

by my wife

Weather is dumb. Not a fan.

“Weather is dumb. Not a fan.” – my wife

“Which parts are the lady parts?”
”The vagina and the heart.”

  • Tina and Gene #BobsBurgers

– How big is an 8 year old’s head? A bowling ball?
-Too small. It’s like a basketball. But one of those small basketballs, you win at the fair.
-You’re describing a bowling ball!

  • Liz Lemon and Crisstopher Cross

-Do you have a neck pillow? I blew mine up, and now it smells like my mouth.

-I don’t sleep on planes. I don’t want to get incepted.

Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy

-When are you due?

-April 20. Hitler’s birthday.

-What is the name of your gynecologist?

-Dr. Rufus T. Barleysheath.

-Where was the baby conceived?

-In my vagina.

-What names are you considering?

-Rufus T. Barleysheath.

-How are you feeling?

-*Oh a little achy and nauseous, but I’m hangin’ in there!*

-Are you pregnant?

-No… way that I’m not.

-Liz Lemon and Carmen Chau

Obamacare is really the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery. It is slavery, in a way.

Neurosurgeon Ben Carson describing Obamacare during the 2013 Value Voters Summit, as tweeted by The Atlantic’s Molly Ball. (via officialssay)

It’s like Jay-Z said, “Concrete bunghole where dreams are made up, there’s nothing you can do.”

Liz Lemon